TEC Bishop Sues his own Church

David Virtue david at virtueonline.org
Fri Dec 12 13:26:31 EST 2014

TEC Bishop Sues his own Church

A Satirical Essay

By David W. Virtue
December 6, 2014

NEWS ITEM: The Episcopal Church in South Carolina has reached a
settlement with The Church Insurance Company of Vermont of its insurance
coverage lawsuit.The settlement brings to an end a dispute in U.S.
District Court between TECSC and the insurance company, which is a
captive insurance company affiliated with The Episcopal Church. Under
the terms of the agreement, details of the settlement are confidential.
ENS story

How can I help you, Bishop vonRosenberg?

I am here to sue the church.

For what exactly?

For money.

For money!

Yes, for millions if I can get it but I'll settle for one million...for

And what do you want this money for?

To sue another group of Episcopalians who don't like me and who are not
cooperating by holding on to parish properties that rightfully belong to
the Episcopal Church and me.

Say what?

Yes, you heard. I want a million bucks from the Church Insurance Company
of Vermont which is affiliated with my church -- the Episcopal Church --
to sue other Episcopalians in Charleston, SC who were formerly
Episcopalians in The Episcopal Church but still call themselves the
Episcopal Diocese of South Carolina, but who are now are under the
ecclesiastical authority of a bunch of Anglican Archbishops in Africa.

Now I'm confused. You are an Episcopal bishop and you want money from
another group in the Episcopal Church to sue yet another group of
Episcopalians who are no longer Episcopalians? Is that correct?


Have you taken your Prozac lately?

No. But that's not the point. You are being confused. This is The
Episcopal Church and we are confused on just about everything from
sodomy to money, but this time it is about money. Look, the church has
pots of money. They paid a professor a million bucks to help in our
lawsuit with the "other" here in Charleston. That was a big waste as far
as I can see as we seem to be losing, so a million for us would go a
long way to suing Bishop Mark Lawrence's Episcopalians about whom I
cannot say a nice word (praise the Lord)...

Do you propose paying it back if you lose?

Hell, no!

And what will you do with the money?

Pay lawyers.

Petition granted.


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